Is your mate cheating on you?

How to Catch a cheater!

Cheating, a nasty word that every couple fears. It is the opposite of a true bond, a trust, a friendship. It hurts to the core, and often brings about resentment, ill feelings and hate for the person we once called "Soul Mate'. Cheating is feared because it brings out all of our insecurities. It makes us wonder what does that other person have that we do not. It penetrates the heart like cold alcohol poured into a wound. We often wonder what did we do wrong to cause this major disruption in our relationship? Did we gain too much weight? Did we fail to provide love or smother our partner with too much love? Now what are we to do? Can we forgive our dishonest, unfaithful partner? Many of us do, for numerous reasons and excuses ignoring the fact that he or she is just too weak to end the relationship.

Parties often use their children, assets, family and friends as an excuse not to leave the cheater. The relationship goes through a cycle that involves the cheater begging for forgiveness, trying to mend what he or she has destroyed. The victim painfully tires to make sense of what has occurred, accepts it, and forgives. Then, the memories of the adulterer's ways return sending the victim into a rage, sometimes causing uncontrollable violence. After all is said and done time is the only healer of a broken heart.

The cheater becomes a model partner trying to prove that he or she can be trusted, until the uncontrollable urge or a vision of lust becomes overwhelming again.

Sound familiar or too close for comfort? Nearly 1.2 million American marriages were dissolved by the courts in 1994. It is stated that nearly one half of new marriages will end in divorce. A University of Oklahoma study revealed that the" no fault" divorce actually raised the number of divorces in 44 states.

There are several ways to recognize and catch a disloyal partner. It is usually discovered with a sudden change in behavior. For an example, your partner wants to go places alone, he or she doesn't show any true affection or does not have a sexual appetite. Your partner stays out late with unexpected meetings, or receives pages in the middle of the night. The home is overwhelmed with strange phone calls coupled with whispering conversations or your partner suddenly panics and hangs up the phone when you enter the room.

Also be aware of any close platonic relationships. Most friends will not approve of the cheater's way but will remain very loyal and supportive to the cheater. Some friends will actually provide an alibi for the cheater. Don't get upset or blame the friend for his part in the plan. You must understand that although it is difficult, the cheater's buddy will assist the cheater out of loyalty and true feelings of guilt.

These emotions stem from a long lasting or childhood friendship.

I must admit some cheaters are very shrewd. They show no signs of any wrong doing. All tracks are covered and they are more loving than ever. This is a difficult nut to crack. This person has something to lose if he or she is caught and knows how to manage his affairs. This is type of individual that requires a professional. The cheater is in control of his life and can handle the pressures and demands of two sexual partners. This type of individual causes the most pain.

What can we do to catch these unfaithful, uncaring, selfish individuals? First of all the cheater must not know that you suspect him. Although it is difficult, you must still treat the cheater the same way as you did prior to suspecting him/her of cheating. Give the cheater plenty of room to hang himself, don't try to interfere or question him/her.

If you suspect the cheater is actually cheating at home while you're away, make false plans to be away one weekend and stay at a local hotel. Park near your residence, then watch and wait. Before you try some of these suggestions, make sure you are willing to accept the consequences without violence. Have a plan as to what you intend to do, if you suspicions are confirmed.

TIPS ON WHAT TO DO PRIOR TO CATCHING A CHEATER!

• If you intend to dissolve the marriage after your suspicions are confirmed, it would be in your best interest to seek an attorney for advice on pensions, separation of property, custody battles, bank accounts etc.
• See a therapist if you think that the pain will be too great to handle, or if you intend to stay in the relationship.
• Always remain calm and never resort to physical violence (Believe me, the pocket book hurts worse than physical pain!)
• Bottom line be prepared and ready for action! You deserve the upper hand for a change!

Remember that will come out of this a winner if you prepare and don't lose your cool. The cheater did you a favor and you don't need anyone in your life that will not be faithful and constantly upsets you. You are too good for the cheater and deserve much better. It will hard but let the cheater go because we all know that most of the time "What goes around comes around".

I cannot emphasize the importance of not resorting to physical violence. You run the possibility of having criminal charges filed against you, an arrest record, possible jail time as well as a fine. This will only increase your pain. IT ISN'T WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!